Saturday 9 June 2007

Street Wars

Parking is a popular battleground. Indeed, many of the world's major conflicts have erupted from seemingly minor parking incidents. Genghis Khan for example, lead his screaming Mongol hoards into China because a double parked Yak on Western Xia high street.

Look what nearly kicked of when Nikita Khruschev decided to park some missiles a little to close to JFK's holiday home - he nearly went ballistic.

Davenham Parish Council (the DPC), have declared war on parking. people parking anywhere in the village are being snatched from their cars and beaten by old ladies with whiskey breath. They then take photo's of the parked vehicle and send it to their lords and masters at the DPC. They receive a reward of heating vouchers for their trouble. This has lead to double standards across the town.

In Davenham this is considered to be worth a beating -


Whereas in Northwich, this kind of very poor parking is not -


Come the glorious day my freinds!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

We will end parking problems in the village once and for all.........


MUHAHAHAHAHA.............

Unknown said...

Is Ken Goodier Dr Evil in disguise? Personally I think he's more like Mr Burns.....

Anonymous said...

Davenham

Twinned with....

Springfield.

Anonymous said...

For those of us fortunate to own a driveway can I suggest that it made compulsary that we WALK everywhere to avoid unnessary conjestion in the village. The pub and barboo are the only required outlets and therefore walking is not a problem. However, can it be made clear that said 'driveway owners' should be allowed to pass through the village in their automobiles when on a journey to the metropolis that is called 'Kingsmead' for emeregncy milk, bread and kebabs. May I also suggest that BADGES are distributed for cars to make it quite clear as to who is allowed to park and who are allowed to pass through. This may go somewhat towards sorting the ridiculus parking problems, especially in the Oddies carpark where no one has a clue how to park up and when to collect cars.... which for some can take upto a week.

Anonymous said...

We own all of the roads!

MUHAHAHAHAHA!

Anonymous said...

The DPC have plans to turn the Oddfellows into a multi storey. We now have firm evidence.

100% fact!

Anonymous said...

I would like to put in a request that the DPPF action a Kebab house to be built in the village. When the garage is back in business, no more journeys will be required to the dreaded Kingsmead as all bread and milk will be readily available. Suggestions are welcome as to where the kebab house can be erected, taking into account that it must be within 2 yards of the Oddies or Bulls Head.

Open to comments....