The DPPF have recently taken to sneaking about at night. While the official DPPF Mrs ponders over Trinny and Susanah or Wife Swap, we are out on secret missions. On one such mission we were able to obtain a bag of shredded correspondence. Over the last two weeks the DPPF have been up all night with a Pritt Stick. We have managed to piece together 12 interesting, as yet unknown facts about your local council.
- They are obsessed with parking. Although none of them actually drive!.
- They travel to meetings on donkeys whom they cruelly dangle carrots in front of.
- They intend to store nuclear waste in Davenham.
- Their lavish expense accounts include chewing gum, kebabs and copies of Razzle.
- They intend to build a multi-storey car park where the Oddies is.
- They have an initiative to twin Davenham with Kingsmead because none of them know where France is.
- They are all over 80 years of age and fought in the war.
- They collectively deny the existence of the A556.
- They have Klingon cloaking technology and are virtually invisible.
- They last time the DPC held a surgery in Davenham was the 3rd September 1948.
- They plan to have another one to mark it's centenery in 2048.
- They don't like to see litter bins as they make the village look untidy.
If anyone needs any shredded paper for their pets to crap on, contact us at the usual address.
2 comments:
Foxy, a little bird told me that Davenham was twinned with it's self?
Don't believe them birds, they are in cahoots to take over the world, or at least Cheshire
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