Know Your Enemy #1 - Kingsmead

We had another quick stategic review on the toilet this morning and we have decided to initiate:-

PHASE 2 - Education/Propaganda

A Quick dirty dozen facts about Kingsmead

1. There are 38,000 dwellings on the estate

2. The population is close to 250,000 people and it doubles each year.

3. The money owed by the estate in car loans is equivalent to the GDP of Kenya.

4. No birds fly over the estate.

5. 32% of women living there think that their partner is a professional footballer. In fact they are sales reps.

6. Virtually all of the tax revenue raised in Davenham goes to fund policing and social welfare in Kingsmead.

7. It ruined a perfectly good river valley.

8. Vandalism and exporting vandalism are the favourite pastimes for most dwellers.

9. The shopping precinct was modelled on the Brookside set.

10. It is an offence to walk anywhere.

11. Domino’s pizza’s are pound for pound, more expensive than Polonium – 210. However, they are only slightly less toxic.

12. A family of destitute Albanians recently opted to return to Albania to face almost certain death, rather than be housed on Kingsmead.

Next - 12 interesting facts about your local council.