Prescott, the Official DPPF pooch has got to go. We need to find him a new home because we can't afford to feed the fat pig. He has taken to eating vast quantities of Haribo and Flumps. We keep catching the rascal begging outside the Spa shop and licking up diesel spillages. Despite walking all the way over to Kingsmead every day for a dump, he is still gaining weight. We called into the Arc veterinary surgery on Kingsmead the other day, they had no idea how to deal with him. They said they are only used to seeing Poodles, Pit Bull Terriers and Cockney Sparrows.
We have decided to release him into the wild. The plan is to paint him dark grey, cut off his legs half way up, hammer the stumps flat and release him into a colony of Walrus. He will then be able to start a family of his own. That's if any Warlrus lady can stand the smell of his diesel breath.
Prescott Yesterday
