Emergenct Meeting - DPPF Transport Committee

The Official DPPF Mrs called an emergency meeting this evening. Concerned about the environment, we have decided that a Humber Pig may adversely affect our carbon footprint and a tank of any sort may be difficult to reverse park. Parking is of particular concern given that the DPC are now dishing out death sentences for illegal parking. We have therefore decided that we will probably be buying one of these -

Some Scooters Yesterday

It's called a Scooter. It will do 300 miles to the gallon, is cheap to tax and insure, is air cooled (handy in times of drought) and has a 75mm recoilless cannon (ideal for clearing a parking space at Tesco Express). It has the power to catch and destroy even the most souped up Saxo and can be fitted with a side car for the DPPF nippers. We will be looking for a part exchange for the Official DPPF Austin Allegro, there may even be change for some nice gloves and a pair of comedy stick on furry ears for our helmet.

We will be writing to Phil Daniels and that nice Sting chap for tips on good scootering. We will not be contacting Leslie Ash, because she looks like a cod.