Sunday Bloody Sunday

Whilst out on manouvers over the weekend, we were accidentally kidnapped by aliens and forced to take part in cruel experiments that lasted into the small hours of Sunday morning. We are convinced that we were given a 'mind wipe' resulting in total memory loss, a lack of co-ordination and a really bad head ache. The theiving alien scum also nicked the official mobile phone and all our cash. We were deposited outside the front door of DPPF HQ in a state of severe dehydation, malnurishment and FDKD (front door key deficiency).

Needless to say, we are now in an advanced state of severe trouble. Despite producing evidence of the existence of alien kidnappers and appologising for their actions, we have triggered another bout of radio silence from the Official Mrs. Worse still, we have also triggered rationing of WWII proportions. We have been informed that we will not be enjoying any of this for some time -

Any of this is completely out of the question-

It's probably the last time we will be enjoying these for a considerable length of time -

We shall therefore be concentrating on plans for the spring offensive and developing a strategy to ensure a timely return to full rations.

We reckon some flowers from the garage and a Robbie Williams CD should do the trick.