Small Faeces - Itchy Poo Park - Def Con 6 (and flashing).

One of our observers has noted an increase in germ warfare activities by the KRA. Apparently, they have been using cattle trucks to ship their pet pooches over the A556 to Davenham to deposit digested Christmas left overs. The scale of the problem is such that the residents of Hartford Road and Church Street are unable to open their doors due to huge mounds of dog excrement.

A recent estimate has quantified the scale of the problem at around 14.26 metric tons of poop being deposited on a daily basis. Of the 14.26 tons, 5 tons (or nearly half) is believed to be infested with Anthrax and the remainder contains Phosgene (a type of worm). It is believed that the problem stems from an inherent design fault found in the modern canine. A graph has shown that the modern canine's storage capacity has been reduced by 50% over the last 5 years, a direct result of a FIFTEEN fold increase in the amount of Bifidus Digestivum in modern yoghurt.

We have decided that enough is enough. We have contacted the DPC and sent samples that we have collected in the official DPPF pooper scooper (a converted coal scuttle). We have demanded an immediate cessation of this action as it clearly contravenes the Genoa Convention.

In measures to counter the problem, we will be introducing the latest member of the DPPF to the conflict. We have a new dog of our own, we were only going to keep it for Christmas, but we may now keep it until Easter, his name is Pescott.

Prescott yesterday

Prescott has been genetically modified an can eat 46 kilo's of Tesco value dog food a day. He also has a retention capacity of 15 days. When he is nice and full, we are going to take him over the road for a walk.