Tuesday 24 July 2007

Strategic Defence Review #3

We have been forced to review our proposed defence network of drawbridges and the moat. Interest rates have been spiralling out of control and the DPPF's efforts to obtain a mortgage on them have proved 'frustrating'.

The official DPPF think tank have been up all night with a pencil, some paper and the Star Trek back catalogue. Captain Kirk's and even Chief Science Officer Spock's efforts were often thwarted by the appearance of alien 'force fields'. The Official DPPF's own Science Officer (The Official DPPF Middle Nipper), was a sceptic until this was discovered. The Israeli's have developed something of interest -



We intend to procure enough of these gadgets to form a defensive shroud around the village. If they can stop a missile at twice the speed of sound, they shouldn't have a problem stopping a Kingsmedian chav walking up London Road at 3mph, or a Nova/Saxo doing 80mph. We just need to check if the speed bumps interfere.

Our trade embargo with the Israeli's prevents us from buying directly, so we will be checking stock at Argos online in the morning.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Foxy,

You are a path finder. Flame throwers are a less expensive alternative.

Anonymous said...

Dear DPPF,
Having recently returned from our 6month tour of duty in Somalia, Gaza, Basra & Sierra Leone etc etc(or anywhere its kicking off really!!) We the "Oddies dirty dozen" or more commonly known as the DEF (Davenham Elite Force) would like to pledge our loyalty & support to your just cause..
Regards
DEF