If It's Not Love, Then It's The Bomb That Will Bring Us Together

We have been listening to The Smiths and have to take exception with Morrissey over the lyrics to his song 'Ask'. The Americans ran some experiments with bombs recently, and instead of bringing people together, they were actually blown apart - FACT!

Those pesky Russians are also messing about with bombs and some old planes. They are apparently flexing their military muscles and regularly probing Britain's air defences. This almost certainly means that they are going to blow us all up. As Morrissey also once said about his comatose Mrs - 'it's serious'.

In order to counter this growing threat we will be declaring the village a Nuclear Free Zone. Manchester City Council declared the city such in 1980 and our research has shown that no atom bombs have gone off there since. Ipso Facto.

Mr T is backing the campaign.

Mr T Yesterday

Franks For The Memories

In our quest for knowledge, we have been researching war and collecting memorabilia. We recently acquired this little gem from a German on e-bay. Its a bona fide certified genuine copy of Anne Frank's diary. We only paid £40 for it, we are going to put it in a glass case and give it to the official Mrs for Christmas, she'll be that chuffed we will probably get a 'result'. (click pic for embiggerment)

Our pride and joy yesterday.

Video Killed The Radio Star

While their is a lull in cross border infiltrations, we have decided to entertain ourselves by making a set of Top Trump cards of local civic dignitaries. First in the series is that artful dodger Ronald McDonald of the VRBC.

Name - Ronald McDonald
Occupation - Burger Flipper

Toryness................................4/5
Labouryness..........................1/5
Greenyness......................-742/5
Intellect...................................0/5
Popularity..............................-8/5
Political Ability......................-2/5
No of Mates...............................0

We were worried that he may be nasty in our comments, but we reckon he probably can't type.

Signed, Sealed, Delivered

Being as those ungrateful wretches on the Kingsmill estate didn't take us up on the offer of a new sign for the spine road, we have decided to offer our services to those lovable geriatric rogues at the DPC. Though quite why we should after they sprayed a knob on our wall is beyond us. We have consulted with Itchy and Satchi and we have managed to come up with a design. The brief that we gave them was to imagineer a new logo for the DPC that captured their essence, penetrated through to their core values and made a bold statement about the service that they provide.

This is their initial stab - we like it.

We reckon this should get us say £20 knocked of our poll tax. We will be writing to them in the morning.