The KRA are planning to invade Davenham and occupy one of our secret training facilities. Find out what they are up to and the DPPF official response by clicking here.
The DPPF have mounted hourly patrols in order to protect vital village facilities. We will also be popping into the pub regularly to gather intelligence. We are planning a robust counter invasion possibly on Wednesday when we will need to stock up on semi skimmed and jaffa cakes. We urge the people of Davenham to remain calm until we have contained the threat and reduced the state of alert to amber (non flashing) or green (flashing). Anyone going to Kingsmead for a kebab are advised to telephone an order through to the Caspian on Castle, free deliveries on orders over a tenner and enough donner meat to keep Vanessa Feltz on the bog for a month.
Fatty Feltz at the Caspian yesterdayCaspain Kebab House 01606 783303 - Official Kebab House to the DPPF
4 comments:
I'd like to kiss her greasy kebab mouth.
That's wrong!
FOXY HELP .... http://krur.blogspot.com/
Dear KRUR,
Having read you emotional plea for help, we have held an emergency meeting and decided that we will provide some emergency aid while we investigate if you are Americans or Kingsmedian infiltrators. We have left a half eaten Domino's hot n spicy in the bin outside Tesco. Should keep you going over the weekend while the DPPF forensic scientists investigate.
We think we may start our investigation at Roberts Bakery, where we will be asking 'will the real Sarah Baps please stand up'.
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